Nate Torhjelm (he/him) is a Master Therapeutic Counsellor (MTC #2443) with the Association of Cooperative Counselling Therapists of Canada (ACCT) and a Senior Associate with Steadfast Counselling. He works with individuals and couples, bringing many years of experience in counselling, group facilitation, and teaching to his work.

Nate has extensive training in relational and experiential approaches to counselling, including Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT). His work focuses particularly on relationships, recurring emotional and relational patterns, life transitions, and helping people create change that goes beyond simply understanding why something is happening.

A Relational & Experiential Approach to Counselling

Nate’s approach to counselling is relational, experiential, and grounded in an understanding of attachment. His training in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) and Transformative Couples Therapy (TCT) has shaped the way he understands both individual struggles and relationship patterns.

When we are hurt, afraid, overwhelmed, or triggered, familiar ways of protecting ourselves can take over before we have a chance to think differently. Therapy offers an opportunity to slow those moments down and explore what is happening underneath them.

Rather than only talking about an experience from a distance, Nate helps clients become more aware of what they are feeling and experiencing in the present moment. Over time, this can create opportunities to respond differently—to ourselves and to the people who matter to us—and allow new ways of relating to become more available.

Finding Yourself Again in Difficult Relationship Patterns

Nate has particular experience working with people who feel stuck or confused in relationships involving narcissistic, borderline, or similarly difficult relational patterns, as well as those who have left these relationships and are trying to understand what happened.

Clients may find themselves struggling with self-doubt, people-pleasing, difficulty holding boundaries, or repeatedly prioritizing another person’s needs over their own. They may spend considerable energy explaining themselves or longing to feel understood, while experiencing a relationship that can feel deeply connected at times and destabilizing or painful at others.

Nate helps clients make sense of these experiences without turning that understanding into self-blame. The work may involve reconnecting with their own needs and values, learning to trust their perceptions, strengthening boundaries, and understanding how their own relational history may have contributed to patterns that are difficult to step out of.

For clients who choose to remain in a relationship, the goal is not necessarily disconnection. It can be learning that it is possible to care deeply about another person and want connection with them without abandoning what you know, need, and feel in order to preserve that connection.

For those who have left, the work can include understanding what happened and rebuilding enough self-trust and relational clarity that the same dynamic is less likely to be repeated. The deeper goal is not simply learning how to avoid a particular kind of person, but learning how to remain connected to yourself within the relationships that matter to you.

Helping Couples Navigate Change and Reconnect

Nate works with couples across a wide range of relationship concerns, from couples wanting to strengthen an already solid relationship to those facing longstanding patterns, significant conflict, disconnection, or the impact of an affair or betrayal. He is comfortable working with relationships where the issues are layered and the way forward may not be immediately clear.

A starting place in Nate’s couples work is identifying what is already working and strengthening the sense of connection and security between partners. He wants to understand not only what has brought a couple to counselling, but also what they want their relationship to look and feel like on the other side of the work. Building on the strengths that already exist can create a more secure foundation from which couples can begin working through hurts, resentment, and longstanding struggles without repeatedly getting pulled back into the same patterns.

Nate also particularly enjoys working with couples who are navigating a significant life transition and want to be intentional about how they move through it together. The arrival of a baby, children growing up and leaving home, changes in work or career, or simply entering a new stage of life can shift a relationship in unexpected ways. What worked for a couple in one chapter may not work as well in the next.

Drawing on his extensive training in Transformative Couples Therapy and other relational approaches, Nate helps couples better understand what happens between them, make space for conversations that can be difficult to have on their own, and begin experiencing one another differently.

Whether a couple is trying to repair something that has happened between them or thoughtfully shape what comes next, Nate helps them strengthen their connection and become more intentional about the kind of relationship they want to create together.

Inside the Counselling Room with Nate

Nate brings a calm and compassionate presence to the counselling room, along with curiosity, directness, and a willingness to be actively engaged in the work. He asks questions, shares what he notices, and will gently challenge clients when he believes it may help them see or experience something differently. There is room to go deeply into difficult experiences, but there is also room for humour and the lighter moments that naturally arise in therapy.

Nate sees counselling as a collaborative process. He encourages clients to have a voice in their therapy—to set boundaries, say when something is or isn’t working, ask questions, and help shape where the work goes. Rather than assuming there is one right way forward, he wants therapy to be something that is built together and responsive to the person in front of him.

As a male therapist, Nate recognizes that this can sometimes be part of what leads a client to choose to work with him. He works with many men who appreciate the opportunity to work with a male counsellor, as well as women who may have previously worked with a female therapist and are interested in experiencing a different perspective. Ultimately, Nate wants clients to feel that they can be open, curious, and actively involved in their own process of change.

Outside the Counselling Room

Outside the counselling room, Nate feels most restored when he can get outdoors and into the mountains. Whether it’s a long walk alone or with a good friend, mountain biking, or skiing, time in nature gives him perspective and a sense of connection—particularly when life feels difficult.

Family is also an important part of Nate’s life. His children are now adults, and he values spending time with them and watching them build lives of their own. Music has always been a significant part of his life as well, both as a creative outlet and a way of feeling more connected and alive. He enjoys making music, seeing live shows—especially smaller ones—and, whenever he gets the chance, road trips and travelling somewhere new.