The message of finding “the one” so that you can live “happily ever after in love” is everywhere. Movies, books, TV shows, magazines are just a few of the many places that build this myth. Buying into it can be dangerous because we start to believe that struggles are not part of being in a relationship.

The truth is, all couples struggle, even the ones that don’t look like they do. What we haven’t been taught is that the struggle — even a tough and messy struggle — is an opportunity to lean into commitment, rather than check out and end the relationship. And as you lean in, consider asking “Am I the best partner I could be?” rather than “Is my partner the one?”  Counselling can help you enter this exploration with support, guidance and compassion.

Nasreen Gulamhusein
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