This summer my husband, Adrian, and I celebrated six years of marriage with a much-needed baby-free overnight downtown. We’ve done a lot together since we met – traveled far and wide, moved provinces (sometimes together, sometimes not), changed careers (both of us, more than once!), bought property, married (twice, honouring Indian and Chinese traditions), lost a beloved dog and had a beautiful child (and a million things in between). The list of good memories is long. They are easy to celebrate because they were fun and beautiful and filled with adventure. But marriage is so very much more than those moments.
So to honour our anniversary, I also celebrate the mountains we have climbed to reach each of those peaks. The moments where we felt hurt, exhausted, angry and pushed to our limits and we chose to stay, hope and believe things could and would get better. The moments where we made mistakes and forgave each other, again and again, and then again still. And then that particularly tough pocket of time where every day felt like a struggle, connection felt impossible and joy seemed like a distant memory and we looked each other in the eyes and asked, “Are we going to make it?” and felt so sad because we truly didn’t know the answer.
I’m celebrating, how during those times I chose to turn inward first, doing my own personal emotional work, and then turn back toward him with new eyes and an open heart. As I arrive on the doorstep of six years of marriage with this man, I can say without hesitation, it has been worth it. I’m looking forward to what comes next!